As soon as I got home from work I ate dinner then immediately passed out. I took a three hour nap. Suddenly, I woke up with this unmistakable urge to get new socks. Quickly, I ran out the door to drive to the nearest sock vendor. Ah ha! I knew it somehow. Socks were on sale. Buy 1 get the next one HALF OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!
It has been a while since I’ve been to the Wednesday meeting with my friends. The one where we all get together and drink at the Denny’s bar while talking about our future plans as tycoons of the virtual realm. Our plans have shifted slightly due to our other members getting jobs where the are not allowed to discuss these matters. Regardless, we are still determined to eventually work for ourselves. One of these days it might just happen.
Feeling the rage coming on like a dark cloud rolling over a hillside, I woke up very cranky. I wasn’t in a very good mood today but I tried to keep that to myself, mostly. So, nothing worth speaking about happened and I don’t have a lot to say. Then I did my usual routine of going to the bank, Subway and buying smokes from that Mexican corner store run by the old Asian guy.
I came home to the most stressful game ever, N+. I won’t review it but I’ll just say that it is a ninja simulator and it is amazing.
Many memorials are the same. A small stage, a podium and some people talking about a dead person. My fathers memorial was not like this. Well ok, at its core, it was this but is was so much more grand than I think most people would get. My Dad had an entire theater packed with people he knew. He had people sing songs, do scenes from Shakespeare. The saddest scene I have ever seen on stage was tonight. It was from The Odd Couple, just a bunch of guys sitting around a table playing cards waiting for Oscar. One of the characters finally says, “Hey Oscar could you get in here. The lights dim, the spotlight shining on the door, waiting for his entrance.
It was the hardest realization that I will never get to see him on stage every again. I cherished every moment that I could see him act. He put every ounce of his being into all of the shows he was in. It is very inspiring because he loved doing it so much. I could only hope to be so fortunate to love my life’s work so much.
I did mostly nothing today. Really, my intentions were not clear as to what I was going to do all day. So naturally, I default to playing video games. Later I went to the Organic Grocery store to find out that I don’t need to spend a whole lot of money on natural food. I always though Organics were at least $2 to $3 more than the steriod infused, commercially bastardized, fat inducing counterparts. Funny thing is they sold meals that weren’t too big. So there is no need for left-overs that never get eaten.
Tomorrow is my Dad’s tribute at the Everett Historical Theatre. I don’t know what to say. It is still very hard to come to terms with this. It is probably the saddest thing that has ever happened to me. It is so sad that I don’t think I can deal with i. All I try to do is move on but…
I took that girl home this morning after finding out that a bunch of friends wanted to take me to a much needed trip to the gun range.
(Side note: I just went into a mental trip where if someone killed themselves at a gun range and then another random attendee decided they didn’t want to live either. Dual random suicide? First time ever? In history? Like a gag reflex. When one person throws up, everyone in the room throws up?…)
I haven’t fired a gun since I was thirteen. I was a little hesitant at first because I remember the kick on my Uncles guns hurt my wrists a lot as a kid. I am very much older and can handle that kind of force nowadays. It was really fun. My shots were very off because I was nursing a hangover from last night. I couldn’t help but to think of Hunter S. when he would go to the ocean to fire off his revolver to seek some clarity.
Anyways, my story is kind of scattered. I left the gun range to go to this thing that some people that work in my industry like to do every Saturday, Play Monster Hunter until the sun comes up. I couldn’t participate because I had left my PSP at work over the weekend. Oh well.
So many days go by where I wonder how much longer I will stay at my job. Everything in me wants to quit. I still didn’t smoke all day at work but I ended up giving in later. Today was another anime night. I wasn’t concerned at all because I went to pick up that girl I met last week. I bought her Hedwig and the angry inch because she wanted to see it. I just wanted to get drunk and see her naked. We both got what we wanted.
I don’t think I want to move into the “having a girlfriend” sector again. Not for a while. But, I still like a girl I can have fun with whenever. I think she feels the same. Besides, she is going away for a month. I’m sure I’ll see her again when she gets back.
I am still very sick. But today I went to work anyways. I can’t really afford to take any more days off anyways. This month is so short. It kind of fucks me over. Plus I quit smoking. That girl I’m supposed to see on Saturday smokes a lot and I feel very socially awkward in the first week of not smoking. I feel really good though. I just feel like my plans are backing up. I really just want to have all of the time in the world to myself so I can have what I really want…Everything. That Girl and I had the shortest exchange over the phone on Tuesday. She didn’t seem that excited to hear from me but I suppose thats just the way it goes. I’m not that excited either deep down inside. I don’t think she would make a very good girlfriend for me. I don’t know. Maybe time will tell. I’ve had girlfriends like her before and they are very boring at the time. However, I feel like I fucked up when I break up with them because of how cool they are about everything. I can’t seem to get a girl that is on the same wavelength as me. It’s either “Nothing” matters or “Every single goddamn thing in the entire universe” matters to these women. I gotta win one of these days.
Time seemed to move very slowly today. I stayed home from work after sleeping from 5pm to 10am the next day. Still, I feel awful. My throat is the worst. It so bad I’ve decided to quit smoking now. Probably another reason time is moving so slow, my routine of going out for a smoke every few hours is now non-existent. I figure if I quit while I’m sick, I won’t notice the withdrawal as much. A few times I wanted to go outside and destroy my lungs a little more but my throat just can’t take it. It wouldn’t be a pleasnt expiriance. For now I just need to keep drinking water.
I am so sick all of a sudden. There isn’t anything to write about. I am going to bed.
Today my Uncle bought a PS3 and is loving it.
This brings me to the subject of my new friend, Social Awkwardness. Yes it has finally set in due to the tragic loss of my father. I have a hard time looking people in the eye while struggling to keep conversations afloat. I’ll tell the same story twice to the same person. I am very mixed up right now. Hopefully I can shake myself out of it.
Also I got some pictures from a friend of my Dad’s. He was meeting with some high school friends just before he died. It is very interesting to see the crowd he hung out with.
I talked to my old step sister that I haven’t seen in ten years. It was an awkward conversation to say the least because she had lost her mother and her grandmother in the same year. I can’t imagine…
So scattered today…
I keep getting these looks from this girl at work. The kind of look that girls give when they can’t say what they are really thinking, which is “I’d like to get a piece of that.” My good friend that I used to work with always said to me “Don’t shit where you eat.” Regarding hooking up with people at work. I think thats a good policy and I think I’ll be sticking to it. Besides, I have a reservation somewhere else.
Today I spent the day hanging out with that girl I hooked up with last night. We got bored so we went to her parents place. They lived next to a lake so we took the ol’ row boat out for a relaxing time. After that I drove her around with me as I looked for a calendar as well as a new mattress. We got to know each other a little better considering we weren’t drinking or anything. She seem very nice and I think I will see her again.
Later I installed my new bed and enjoyed its infinite comfort while starting my Monster Hunter 2 character.
Today was welcomed a hard morning. My head was pounding from last nights excessive consumption of Jack Daniels. There are two rules for when I drink Jack Daniels:
1. No More Heroes can only be played while drinking Jack Daniels.
2. When drinking Jack Daniels at home, No More Heroes must be played at some point during the night.
Anyways, my day was going by very slowly. I was supposed to hang out with a friend but I decided that I didn’t want to leave the house so I didn’t. That was until my roommates girlfriend showed up and wanted to go on a picnic with everyone…which we didn’t do. Instead a bunch of us went to a place called Oobas in Redmond. They have the best burritos anywhere. I recommend that all first timers start with the steak burrito. It is the best $8 that anyone will spend on food ever.
So my roommates girlfriend brought her high school friend along with her. We had never met until today. All of us went back to the house and decided to drink beer and play a card/dice game named strut!. After a few hours of flirting, I hooked up with the high school friend to “watch a movie in my room…alone” which was very nice. It has been too long since I have had a girl stay the night with me. Hence this puts an end to my 15 month dry spell of being totally unnoticed by women.
So my Dad’s funeral was today. Well, at least the church one was. I’m not into the whole church thing myself but I respected the man enough to attend and withdraw any of my own opinions of the subject while I was there. I mean, he was a part of a community there. People cared about him and his intentions were always good so…more power to him. It was an odd experience though. I sat in the first row remaining very stoic and silent through the singing and praying portions. My Dad was a very funny guy. He had three things at the alter during the ceremony: his tackle box, his bowling ball and a big ball of tin foil that had a name tag that said “Hello my name is Bob” sitting in a pie tin. I tried not to laugh because it looked just ridiculous in the middle of this very serious moment. Later I found out that it was from the fair when he would judge a pie he would take a small piece of tin from every sample and put it on this ball. He eventually named it Bob.
I talked to a lot of people that I haven’t seen in a very long time. It was very enlightening to see the kind of people that showed up. I gave the copy of The Orange Box that I was going to give to my Dad to my Uncle who I know will get some use out of the thing. Sometimes people decide that things like that should be left to the dead but, I think thats impractical. I would want people to get use out of whatever I left behind. In death, I believe I have no business with material possessions anymore. Why not leave them to the living to make use out of them?
After that was over I went home to relax. Later on, some friends came over for Anime Night. We watched a few things such as Karas, Read or Die and Black Lagoon. I had a few too many drinks though.
